Tom Hardy 2014

Since MAD MAX: The Fury Road, I’ve liked Tom Hardy. So I eagerly looked forward to LOCKE, a pre-Mad Max flick.

I got ten minutes into the movie. Through those minutes Hardy drives a car on city streets and on the Motorway, and he talks on the phone. Perhaps in Britain those activities are sophisticated and advance civilization. In California the CHP will give you a ticket.

One set of phone calls is to delay or change meetings and deliveries at a construction site. The accents were so pronounced in this film (“Not genteel,” as Eliza Doolittle might say), it is impossible to determine the reasonable of Tom Hardy’s complaints. I did not know Hardy was talking to a message machine until he left a message.

The second set of telephone calls are to home. Hardy will not arrive in time to see or watch something. If it is a fool football game, Hardy will be better off missing it. Statistics show that viewers who watch football games, with or without helmets, lose IQ points.

The final set of telephone calls return to the cement delivery problems at the construction site (the subject of the messages of the first set of calls). I don’t believe there was a problem because it is not that sort of movie. When cement is poured, the real question is how many bodies are tossed in, let alone the few workers who take a dive for a swim in the mix. Despite the accents I could tell no one was murdered. What sort of cement/construction movie was this?

I next wondered why I was watching a movie about a guy driving a car on the Motorway. I see that morning, noon and night on every freeway in California. I mentioned this “movie action” to a friend, who asked, “What’s there new about that?” And there is a final point: The dialogue was no good – mundane at best.


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