A bad summer for the slogan-and-product boys.
GR LOANS: They have a middle-aged white guy who’s doing a little boy, cartoon stucke. Yeah, I always wanted to get a mortgage from someone who sounds like Elmer Fudd.
TD AMERITRADE: I’ll never be as dumb as the guy with the Sixties wardrobe. He had a big mustache, unkempt curly hair and a work shirt. I don’t know what role he’s supposed to play except walk into a white collar office. In one ad he is the guy carrying what appears to be a large black and white TV from the Fifties. He’s helped by a person opposite him. This blue color spokesman is an idiot, a moron and an imbecile. He does not have the marbles to put the TV on a trolley and singlehandedly wheel it into the room.
T-MOBILE: This company now offers unlimited service for four lines at $40 per month per line; the total bill is $160. I guess the owner is someone sort of cool guy on the Internet and in the cyber world. I have three lines, unlimited service, for $70.00 a month. Do I have to pay $90 for coolness and for the spokesman’s snide smile?
AUDI or MERCEDES: The German have eight or ten cars rolling through a neighborhood like they are Leopard tanks, interrupting children’s play, distracting fathers who are gardening and alarming pedestrians. The ad and the car produced an unwanted flashback: When I was five years old I was hit by a car in my neighborhood and was stuck in a hospital for six weeks.

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