NO BRAINER – SEQUEL

“Titanic.” Why no sequel? Anyone with half a mind would have written and made one. Another two billion in the bank. Of course, Leonardo could not be in the second, unless he had a twin. But Kate would have been perfect, as she frequently is, unless she’s dying.

STORY: No title yet. I want suggestions.[Send your suggestions plus $25 to this blog and a return-addressed stamped envelope, and I’ll consider each.]

Kate lands in New York. (Forget about that lame-ass ending on movie one.) Billy finds her. All is forgiven. They set up the married life in and around New York City, an early version of “The Great Gatsby.” Kate find New Yorkers dull, excitable and deleterious. It’s a taxing, tiring life. Rather than an existence of “Gangs of New York” crossed with anything written by Edith Wharton, Kate is looking for “Downton Abbey” without Shirley MacLaine. She has to learn how to turn on the electric lights.

It’s rough living among upper class New Yorkers, the mucky-mucks, swells and others. She decides to return to England but promises to return. Traveling with girlfriends, they have a wild time – the usual stuff. The ladies have friends, Tom, Harry, Dick, Leonardo and Bill. The audience learns the many innuendos suggested by the adage: “A slice off a cut loaf is never missed.” A story twist – to spy on his wife Billy hires on the ship as a common seaman. Being lower class he easily gets into Kate’s circle and becomes a favorite dispensing favors.

The powers that be, the captain and upper classers are distressed by the improprieties, the improper priorities, the lack of social comportments and failures of grace. Ill-repute will be cast on the ship and the shipping company. No one wants to think of their vessel as “The Love Boat.”

The Captain calls Kate and her common seaman in. He dresses her down and upbraids him. But Billy saves the day. He professes true love for Kate, and reveals who he is.  Kate is lovey-dovey; the Captain is surprised but relents. AT THAT POINT two torpedoes hit the ship. It sinks quickly.

I don’t know who should survive this sinking of the Lusitania.  

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